Tuesday, March 30, 2010


I've been listening to Obama tell us at every opportunity how much money all his policies will save the American taxpayer. It reminded of me of an old story.

A man was telling his friend about gas saving measures he was using with his car. "I had the engine tuned up and I'm saving 35%. I checked the air in my tires and added another 10%. I got 25% improvement by never exceeding 55 mph." His friend was impressed. "But that's not all.", he continued. "I shut off the engine at drive-up windows and gained 20%. And not using the air conditioning gives me another 15%."
"That's outstanding!",exclaimed his friend. "You must be really happy!" "It's a real pain in the butt!", said the man. "I have to stop every 20 miles and drain the excess gas out of the tank!"


The Orthometer has a great post about confession. Check it out.

Monday, March 29, 2010


Tonight, as we have during Lent, my 6th grade CCD class prayed the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. Each week we have prayed for different intentions; families, the sick, priests. Tonight we prayed for our Holy Father. I told them that Pope Benedict was facing much criticism, albeit undeserved, and needed the help that our prayer would give him. They have always been good about the responses. But this evening they were even more so. 15 young people, in a large building, filled the entire church with their responses. It sounded like there were a hundred people praying. I was so surprised and moved that I had a hard time leading the prayer. As we left, some of them commented, "I really like that prayer." I knew they were really praying for the Holy Father. The evil one will not win when 12 year olds pray like this.

"And the gates of Hell shall not prevail..."

Monday Humor

Miss Sally Edwards is a highly esteemed third grade teacher at Kootenai County Elementary, in Sand Point, Idaho. In an effort to prepare her students for the all-important TAKS test, she compiled an exam consisting of 20 questions, which she administered to her class last Tuesday. The exam purposely covered a broad array of topics.
I call your attention to question # 11, which simply read:
1. ________ 2. ________ 3.________ 4. ________
67% of the students gave the following answer?

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

For Catherine

Bacon lovers rejoice!

Weird bacon items

Monday, March 1, 2010

A Bad Diet Plan

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's rear end and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.